Within every type of communication there is a step by step process. This can happen almost instantly or within an amount of time.
The steps include the following process. Person 1 expresses some form of communication. That communication is encoded with some form of medium which is then decoded by person 2. Person 2 has a thought or feeling in response to the communication they decoded. Then with another form of medium, their response is encoded to person 1 and the process continues over and over again.
The problem with our communication is that it is so easy to take things in a way that they were not meant. Especially through the different mediums we have in our day (email, text, over the phone, in person).
This is when the five secrets (that aren't so secret) of communication come in handy.
The five secrets come in 3 parts -E(Empathy) A(Assertiveness) R(Respect)
Empathy:
1. Disarming Technique [Find a Kernel of truth in what is said or communicated & focus on that.]
2. Empathy [Thought & feeling of emotions]
3. Inquiry [This is a gentle inquiry to understand what was being communicated.]
Assertiveness:
4. I Feel Statement. [When...............I feel...................because..................... I would like................]
Respect:
5. Expressing genuine appreciation & admiration
It can be easy to respond with anger to communication from others. Instead, I would challenge you to use these steps and secrets. I know it may seem awkward or uncomfortable in the beginning, but the more you practice these things, the better and more comfortable you will become. I promise you, something good will come of this.
Marianne Williamson
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
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