A controversial topic in our lives today is the role of fathers. The world is starting to lean toward not needing fathers at all. All they do or can do is impregnate women anyway right? Isn't that right?
I disagree. Wholeheartedly.
I have spent my entire life without a father in my home. My biological father is not what a father is intended to be. Rather than providing, protecting and presiding, he caused damage. He did things that it has taken me my hole life to move passed so that I could start moving forward.
My parents were divorced when I was young. Since then, I have been searching for the love of a father. The love only a father can give you. The one that provides safety, a shoulder, love for my mother, and forehead kisses.
I have craved that love and thought I would never be blessed with such a blessing.
Until one day, my eyes were opened. I was speaking with a woman whom I love dearly. I had talked previously with a man whom, although he has no obligation to do so, has stepped in to show me love and support in my life. While speaking with this sweet woman, she recalled a conversation she had had with the man I was speaking with earlier. As their conversation progressed, this man turned to this woman and said, "I feel so bad for the man who decided not to have Jorja for his daughter."
As you can probably guess, I started to weep. I noticed for the first time, something I had not thought of before. My father is suffering just as much, if not more for the choices he made to get him where he is. He is at a loss. He is the one missing out.
After this experience, I looked at my father in a hole new light. Instead of anger, I felt compassion. Instead of hurt, I felt gratitude. Instead of hate-forgiveness.
My father, biology aside, is not a father. He is not my father.
A father is meant to preside, provide, and protect. He is meant to love and be loved.
I have many fathers in my life. Men that do more than fulfill their own family obligations. No, they go far past above and beyond. They do all they can for their families and then they look elsewhere to fill in any gaps left by another.
Marianne Williamson
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
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